Break the silence on abuse

I have procrastinated about a year now to tell my full story. To tell my story as truthfully with facts and feel and the feelings, and emotions that comes with being a survivor of complex trauma. A little over a year ago we had a family get-together. That day had already been an emotional day because my mother was verbally abusive throughout that day. At the family gathering the person responsible for my CSA was that the get together. I was uncomfortable and ready to leave and my abuser/family member got extremely upset with me. He followed me to the front yard and started yelling at me. For some reason I was very hurt by his verbal abuse. Trying to stand up for myself I back talk to him. Then he grabbed me by my arms and shook me. Oh my gosh the emotions that I never felt and never was allowed to feel came crumbling down on me. I bawled and I cried for hours. My sister and my cousin were there and I walked over to my sister and I’ve laid my head down on her shoulder. When I cried and said he ruined my life. I realized I had never dealt with what I went through as a child.

I started on a crusade to find out as much as I could about my childhood. For years I have been running from my past not listening what my instincts an intuition we’re telling me. Due to my childhood and my foundation of life being dysfunctional at the least caused years and decades of verbal, sexual, and an emotional abuse. It’s taking a year to get the courage up to tell the story.

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